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Nick Jarvis
Manager, Warbury Warriors
The original 'Striker' and now Warbury's legendary Manager. Despite his boyish good looks, life always seems to let Nick down.
Eric Openshaw
Warbury's bumbling loud-mouthed Chairman with a trophy wife.
Li Ming Wong
Chinese billionaire's daughter Li Ming Wong is Warbury Warrior's new Chairman.
Sheikh Mustapha Futti Kulub
With Warbury in administration in 2009 after Li Ming Wong withdrew all her cash, along came Shiek Mustpha Futti Kulub with a big plan and even more money than his predecessor.
Kurt Panzer
Not known for his sense of humour, Kurt has vays of making ze team vork!
Sebastian (Scrapper) Griswell
A giant of a man but he is several bricks short of a load!
Callum Angelo
Warbury's boy wonder who, despite a recent brush with death, remains their top goal scorer.
Fabian de Guisson
Arrogant French winger and poseur Extraordinaire with a serious eye for the ladies.
Rufus Lebonque
Warbury's number one keeper, plucked from obscurity in Haiti by Nick.
Gerald De Courcey
The toffee-nosed academic of Warbury with an enormous IQ.
Groucho Mendoza
The hulking Argentine defender has personal hygiene issues and a temper as foul as his breath!
Jasper Jones
An amiable cockney, Jasper is a solid scorer who is keen to prove himself.
Joe Lovett
The squad's practical joker but the joke is definitely on him when it comes to that hair colour!
Don Vincenzi
A sicilian signed from Lazio, Don is quiet but effective.
Ewan Merenghi
Warbury's newest signing - tough Scotsman with a big gob and an attitude to match!
Phil (Hello Boys) Austin
The only gay in the club.
Dave Boreham
His name says it all.
Darren Head
The promising youngster who stepped into big shoes!
Doris Dingle
Doris is Eric's new squeeze and the love of his life after he dumped Vanessa on discovering that Todd was not his son.
Vanessa Openshaw
The high-maintenance unfaithful wife of Chairman Eric who has the hots for Nick.
Donna Angelo
Mother of Callum and Warbury's very own Miss Whiplash!
Bertha Griswell
Wife of Scrapper, champion bog-snorkeller and definitely a girl who likes a challenge!
Emma Langton
Callum's childhood sweetheart, she's determined to hang on to her man - whatever it takes.
Molly McRavish
Appropriately, Molly is the landlady of the Slapper's Arms and the original tart with a heart!
Mona
The minger of all mingers, Mona is nanny to Fabian's son Romeo.
Todd Openshaw
Nick and Vanessa's love-child but Eric thinks he's his dad.
Romeo De Guisson
Fabians offspring - the result of a regrettable sexual encounter he would rather forget!